I work with some of the most beautiful women in the world. The women that I train are attractive females, but sadly, many of them refuse to believe it.
I am often surprised and disappointed by the typical woman’s need to belittle herself when she is around other women. You know what I am talking about because you’ve either witnessed this behavior or have been a part of it. The conversation will go something like this scenario.
Sarah: “Oh look at my thighs, they are huge! I hate them!”
Jennie: “You think that’s bad, look at my stomach–it’s horrible!”
Tammy: “Yeah, well my chin is too pointed, I look like a witch.”
Lisa: “My breasts are too small–I’m thinking about implants.”
Now seriously, can you imagine a group of guys having a similar conversation? No, because men are not self-deprecating about their appearance, which is quite funny, since women are considered to be the more attractive of the human species!
As young girls, females tend to be more concerned with expectations and moral issues than males at a young age. Because of this heightened concern, we become more dependent on social approval. As a result of this need for acceptance, girls are more inclined to develop a negative self-image.
When we group together, the self-loathing conversation is worse. Rather than praising ourselves for our beauty, which by the way is a gift, we prefer to criticize our features. As soon as one member of the group says something negative about the way she looks, the others feel it their duty to point out and make fun of features of their own. Should one of the girls not participate, she will be deemed conceited or full of herself.
This type of behavior sets the stage for a lifetime of dissatisfaction of one’s own body, which in turn can lead to eating disorders and all sorts of mental and physical ailments.
Instead, women can be thankful for their bodies. They should give themselves permission to love and cherish this beautiful gift that has been given to them.
For centuries, artists have painted pictures featuring women’s bodies. Some are slender while others more voluptuous. This is because women, no matter what body style, are still considered beautiful and highly desirable.
Women’s fitness is more than just being thin–it’s about being healthy. This unhealthy behavior of self-reproach remains a mystery to me, but I know that with conscious effort, all women can begin to appreciate themselves, both mentally and physically. So, the next time that you are with a group of girls and the conversation takes on the self-deprecating role, you can change it to one of positive self-assertiveness.
When the girls begin criticizing the way that they look, be brave enough to point out their attractive features, and commend your own body for its beauty. You will be pleasantly surprised, how a bit of praise and admiration can turn the banter around.
I guarantee you this, it will be a much more healthy discussion for you and your friends.
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~ Karen Ficarelli
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